Episode 1
Draped in Red Flags
We women tend to fall into female friendships with a skip and a sparkle. Hooray! A new friend! But what happens months (or years) later when you find yourself enmeshed in a crappy friendship with someone you never would’ve connected with if you’d known her better? Episode 1 talks about seeing the red flags in a friendship before it’s a huge mess…or making excuses for them and finding yourself in a bog of negativity. Listen on AudioBoom and iTunes.
Episode 2
You Are Not Immune
Sure, she’s got her flaws…but you’re immune because of your super-special friendship and sister-like bond. Or not. Do you have a friend who's just mean? She says mean yet hilarious things and seems to get her jollies talking trash? Think because you're besties this behavior doesn't apply to you? It's just a matter of time. Listen on AudioBoom and iTunes.
Episode 3
Green-eyed Monster
Comparison is the thief of joy, said Teddy Roosevelt, and the man knew a thing or two. What’s the difference between wanting some of the same things your friends have and true envy? Have you ever been resentful of a friend’s success on any level…or have you ever been surprised when a friend isn’t so happy for you when good things happen? Listen on AudioBoom and iTunes.
Episode 4
Playing the
Victim Card
Some women are survivors…and some are in a perpetual state of suffering. No matter what, their problems are worse than yours, the universe is out to get them, and your job is to listen…not that you can make a difference. Special guest: Dr. Khaleesi (not her real name), Ph.D., (yes, her real credentials) helps deal with this not-a-bad-person-but-endlessly-draining friend. Listen on AudioBoom and iTunes.
Episode 5
Hungry Heart
Did you ever have a friend who needed so much from you? At first, things seemed great. Magical, almost. Then, cruel reality sets in, and you see that your friend is a black hole, never satisfied, always hurt that you’re not there enough for her. How to spot the warnings signs, and how to avoid the love at first sight syndrome. Listen on AudioBoom and iTunes.
Episode 6
Bad Habits,
Good Friends
After a glass or two of California’s finest, Joss and Kristan discuss fictional female friendship (and the dearth thereof). Which TV character would they most want as their Chardonnay gal-pal, which movies and shows get it right, and how both authors work to create strong female friendships in their books. Listen on AudioBoom and iTunes.
Episode 7
The Chardonnay Edition
After a glass or two of California’s finest, Joss and Kristan discuss fictional female friendship (and the dearth thereof). Which TV character would they most want as their Chardonnay gal-pal, which movies and shows get it right, and how both authors work to create strong female friendships in their books. Listen on AudioBoom and iTunes.
Episode 9
10 Rules OF FRIENDSHIP
It takes more than the occasional text and Instagram like to sustain a meaningful, rich friendship. When should you sit back and listen, when should you voice your concerns, how to celebrate success and mostly, the importance of showing up. Also, Kristan overshares her most embarrassing problem ever (we hope). Listen on AudioBoom and iTunes.
Episode 10
BITCH & DITCH
You've been there for her 100%, listening to her crisis, offering your shoulder to soak up her tears, taking her phone calls…and then, boom! She slams the door in your face. What did you do wrong?
Nothing. It's not about you, honey. It's about her and her issues. Listen to our special guest, Yara of the Marble Islands (you should see her kitchen countertops) as we dissect what happens when you know too much. Listen on AudioBoom and iTunes.
Episode 11
just not
that into you
What to do with that friend who's perfectly…meh. There's nothing horribly wrong, but is there anything great? What if the feeling isn't mutual, and you find yourself billed as her bestie when you just don't feel the same way? The Ladies offer their help…plus more embarrassing personal problems!.
Listen on AudioBoom and iTunes.
Episode 12
breaking up
is hard to do
So it's come to this: you really want to end the friendship. Why is it so hard? How can you be kind but also free yourself of a "friend" who brings nothing good to your life? The Ladies will talk about various ways to free up that space so you can fill it with good people. Listen on AudioBoom and iTunes.
Episode 14
GIRL GANGS
What's better than a group of close friends? Nothing! Except when things don't go so well, or the girls are mean, or you have to ask someone to leave the gang. How to make sure your band of sisters doesn't turn into a blood bath of horror, plus drinkies, Kristan singing against everyone's will and Joss's tiara. Special guests Yara of the Marble Islands & Countertops, Dr. Khaleesi, Ph.D. (fake name, real creds) and author Anne Renwick. Listen on AudioBoom and iTunes.
Episode 16
Wedding Woes & Bridezilla Bitches
These are times that try the soul. Why can't everyone just elope? And yet, the Ladies love a good wedding. Tips on dealing with brides who turn to the Dark Side when planning their weddings, saving your own sanity, and not breaking the bank. Listen on AudioBoom and iTunes.
Episode 17
The attention whore
Dude, we all have one. What is it about those friends who bring every conversation back to themselves? Why do we put up with it? Can you fix them? Should you try? Maybe they're not bad people, but talking to them can be such a drain. How to deal…or not. Listen on AudioBoom and iTunes.
Episode 18
Coming clean
Has life hit you over the head with a baseball bat? Does everyone seem to have a better life than you? Girl, it happens. Rather than eat your emotions or make voodoo dolls of your friends, the Ladies have some suggestions on how to engage your besties without guilt and take baby steps to feeling better. Listen on AudioBoom and iTunes.
Episode 19
best friends
with the face in the mirror
What if we were as good and kind to ourselves as we are to our very best friend? The Ladies discuss self care, the big and the small, the difference between that and self numbing, and how practice makes perfect when it comes to making a better life for yourself. A must-listen after any rough week! Listen on AudioBoom and iTunes.
Episode 20
SHOT THROUGH
THE HEART
Your best friend--YOUR BEST FRIEND--doesn't just dump you...she paints you as the villain and cuts you out of your friend group. Just when you thought life was going to get better, you've been gutted. How do you start over when all you want is to back to the way things were? The Ladies offer advice, sympathy…and of course, an embarrassing personal problem involving Kristan's nostrils, just for you, our dear listeners.Listen on AudioBoom and iTunes.
Episode 21
Baby and the bathwater
Your pal isn't perfect (and neither are you). How do you manage a friend who's great some of the time, and kinda sorta crappy at others? Is there a way to keep the good and ditch the bad? The Ladies discuss, and Joss overshares about a recent massage parlor visit. Listen on AudioBoom and iTunes.
Episode 22
TWISTED SISTER
You marry the person of your dreams…and get the sister-in-law of your nightmares. But you used to be friends! And now she hates you. How do you maintain your sanity, establish boundaries and stay out of jail? The Ladies are thrilled to take on the first in our holiday special series: Crappy Relatives. Listen on AudioBoom and iTunes.
Episode 23
Second Best with the Relatives, Rapid Fire Edition
In keeping with the approach of the holidays, the Ladies are taking on crappy relatives with the help of psychologist Dr. Khaleesi (not her real name, but yes, her real job). Why is that we so often feel second best when with our families? Can we lob a piece of dry, tasteless turkey at them, or do we have to suck it up? Is wine the only answer? Tune in and find out! Listen on AudioBoom and iTunes.
Episode 24
shallow biotch
She only wants to talk about celebrity gossip and reality TV (no judgment!)…but you and your group are moving forward, while she's stuck on the couch at her parents' house. Do you ditch her or give her a chance to try a little harder? The Ladies are joined by their first millennial guest, Princess Jon Snow, for added insight. Listen on AudioBoom and iTunes.
Episode 26
Dumped without Ceremony
You were the best friend she ever had…right until she dumped your ass. Why didn't she talk about it? Did you do something? What the hell, right? Can you get closure? Should you try? The Ladies offer sympathy and tips, and Kristan discusses why she can no longer wear jumpsuits in Embarrassing Personal Problems. Listen on AudioBoom and iTunes.
Episode 27
job vs. friends
You land your dream job…and your friends, all in the same field, take umbrage with your famous boss (who may or may not be Tim Gunn). You're moving ahead and quite possibly opening doors for them; they're not having it. Plus, Kristan's phallic plants and Joss's horror of same. Listen on AudioBoom and iTunes.
Episode 30
how to vet a friend
The Ladies have said it again and again: vetting a person before jumping into a friendship is NECESSARY, dude. But what does that mean? Using Kristan's anal-retentive checklist, the Ladies give you things to look for, things to do, and things to think about.
Episode 33
the old wound
"It's the old wound, my king. It has never healed." Yes, yes, Kristan needs to stop watching Excalibur, it's true, but those old wounds can really suck, as Lancelot knows. And why? WHY? You were a good friend, and then she dumped you. Now you might run into her, and the thought makes quake in terror at the anticipated conversation. The Ladies offer advice, and Kristan talks about Econo-Shaving in #EmbarrassingPersonalProblems. Listen on AudioBoom and iTunes.
Episode 36
sad clown
One of these friends is not like the other, and it's starting to irritate. When should you be concerned about a friend who doesn't seem to take care about how she looks? Does it matter? Plus, the Ladies discuss their own mothers and the lessons learned (or not learned) about presentation, and Kristan's fixation on being Tim Gunn's best friend. Listen on AudioBoom and iTunes.
Episode 38
communication breakdown
Your friend has completely misunderstood something you said, and things are not as they once were. How can you come back from that? Should you try? Is there a hidden message here? Plus, Kristan discusses the difficulty of listening to a friend's sad story whilst also being desperate for the ladies' room in #EmbarrassingPersonalProblems, and Joss (irritatingly) continues her year of grace, poise and elegance. Listen on AudioBoom and iTunes.
Episode 39
be better
You've gone and done it, and you know it. Friends behaving badly, and in public no less. How can you come back from your less-than-finest moment(s)? The Ladies discuss sucking it up, the art of the apology, and reach back into Kristan's childhood for an Embarrassing Personal Problem. Listen on AudioBoom and iTunes.
Episode 40
I'm not beyonce
Why does your friend always assume you're too busy for her? Why does she say things like, "I know you're better friends with Dolores (not her real name)...are you sure you want to hang out with little old me?" Is it insecurity or an attention grab? Plus, Joss discusses her gains in Grace, Poise and Elegance (#GPE2019). Listen on AudioBoom and iTunes.
Episode 41
you're out
of the will
The slippery slope of friendship when money is a part of it. Years and years of devotion can disintegrate, just like that, and leave you shocked and hurt. The Ladies also discuss the overuse of certain words, like toxic and trigger. Plus, Kristan's sainted mother provides another #EmbarrassingPersonalProblem, bless her. Listen on AudioBoom and iTunes.
Episode 43
the broken in me
What makes us seek out friends who are almost guaranteed to hurt us? Who have a track record of ghosting, dropping friends, bad behavior? Is it, as the letter writer suggests, "the broken in me seeing the broken in you"? The Ladies discuss how to share some of the more difficult times of your life without info-dumping too early in a friendship, and being able to identify as more than a survivor or victim. Listen on AudioBoom and iTunes.
Episode 44
should i cut this bitch loose?
Such a direct question! The Ladies answer a young letter writer who sees red flags in a person but is also tied to them through a graduate program. How do you balance being a good classmate and also watch out that you don't get stuck in a toxic friendship? Plus, updates on Kristan's hideous leg, and some all-too-personal problems from Joss. Listen on AudioBoom and iTunes.
Episode 45
frosted by
my friends
When your life circumstances change, shouldn't your friends stand with you through the tumult? They're not really judging you on a change in social status, are they? Could it be something else? The Ladies discuss patterns, support, compassion fatigue and Joss miraculously turns an Embarrassing Personal Problem into a moment of Grace, Poise and Elegance. As she does. Listen on AudioBoom and iTunes.
Episode 47
Drama Mama in Divorcelandia
What DOES one do when a friend can't stop bringing up her divorce years after the fact? When she cries if you mention your anniversary? When she brings all conversation back to her and her ex? A few brisk slaps? A gift certificate for counseling? The Ladies discuss compassion, compassion fatigue and when to take a friend aside for a little chat. Listen on AudioBoom and iTunes.
Episode 49
Eight Girls
and a Pizza
Learning to stand up for yourself in a firm, polite way is a life skill the Ladies WISH they'd learned in their twenties (or before). But it's not too late! Plus, what does one do with prechewed food? An #EmbarrassingPersonalProblem from a listener! Listen on AudioBoom and iTunes.
Episode 50
No Friends,
No Drama and
Halle Berry
What if you're mostly happy without friends? How do you explain that to people who might make overtures? The Ladies get a unique letter from a listener who sounds happy in her solitude but is afraid she might be missing out. Listen on AudioBoom and iTunes.
Episode 51
the office shrew
You're all friends at work…except for that one person who kills everyone's happy vibe and messes with productivity. What do you do? What should you ask your boss? Are you required to like someone just because you work together? How far is "nice" supposed to go? The Ladies discuss, and Kristan talks about self-care, even when it sucks and you feel embarrassed. Listen on AudioBoom and iTunes.
Episode 52
the friendly ghosting
Is it ever okay to walk away from a friendship without a word? Two letters ask the same question: Can I be done with her yet? But the Ladies are intrigued! Is that what our letter writers really want? Plus, Joss's dog, the infamous and fabulous Glory, scratches her itchy spots whilst the Ladies drink cheap Chardonnay and ponder life's difficult questions. Listen on AudioBoom and iTunes.
Episode 55
am i an unpaid therapist?
Your friend is lovely, intelligent and kind…and her life is in the toilet all the freakin' time. You, on the other hand, have your act pretty much together. How do you create balance and avoid being an unpaid therapist? How can you avoid every conversation circling back to her endless problems while still being there for her? The Ladies discuss, plus a horrifying Embarrassing Personal Problem Kristan finally has the courage to describe. Listen on AudioBoom and iTunes.
Episode 56
the psychic
friends network
What do you do when a friend fails to pick up on your hints? And what do you do when a friend takes credit for things that don't involve her? The Ladies discuss the sometimes strange manifestations of good intentions, and how to learn to choose positivity over frustration. Listen on AudioBoom and iTunes.
Episode 57
the favorite daughter
Why does there have to be a favorite? Your mom can't stop talking about how much better your sibling is…but what does she say to your sibling when you're not around? The fascinating dynamics that bubble over when someone stirs the pot. Plus, a follow-up from one of our most fascinating letters this year! Listen on AudioBoom and iTunes.
Episode 58
am i a martyr?
You're the designated helper…you drive them to their appointments, cook when they're sick, loan them money, and yet when you need a favor, no one's around. The Ladies discuss how and when to help a friend, and when and how to say no, and your own responsibility when people take advantage of your good nature. Listen on AudioBoom and iTunes.
Episode 60
my friend
the racist
Yeah, no. She's not your friend, because you have morals and decency. So what do you do when a friendly acquaintance outs herself as a bigot? How do you call someone on this? The Ladies have thoughts. Plus, one of the BEST Embarrassing Personal Problems since the Tale of the Lost Tampon. Listen on AudioBoom and iTunes.
Episode 61
judge not,
church lady
An interesting episode in which our letter writer reveals much about herself and the mixed messages she's sending a friend she deems toxic. Oh, the tangled webs we weave when first we go out to lunch with someone! How can you be honest AND kind? When is the problem really you, and how can you tell? The Ladies bring in their favorite therapist, Dr. Khaleesi, and discuss this thorny situation. Listen on AudioBoom and iTunes.
Episode 62
friend in a
bad place
When your friend is on a dangerous, self-destructive path, what's your role as her friend? How can you help? Is it your job to save her? (Hint: No. Sorry. You can't.) The Ladies bring in professional psychologist Dr. Khaleesi (not her real name, but yes, her real credentials) to discuss how to maintain a friendship even when your pal is making bad decisions, and how to take care of yourself during this tough time. Listen on AudioBoom and iTunes.
Episode 63
what if something terrible happens?
Your friend is great…much of the time. Some of the time. She has some good qualities, but things don't feel balanced. Maybe you want to end the friendship, but you're scared to dump her because she really has had her share of trauma. What if you push her into doing something drastic? What if the end of your friendship will be the straw that breaks her back? The Ladies discuss…plus…THE BEST EMBARRASSING PERSONAL PROBLEM IN HISTORY! Listen on AudioBoom and iTunes.
Episode 64
a horrible day in the neighborhood
Oh, those group dynamics can be killer, especially when all the drama is unfolding right where you live! What is this, a Desperate Housewives reboot? Can't you just cut your lawn and yell at your kids in peace? Or should you move, as Joss suggests? Listen on AudioBoom and iTunes.
Episode 65
when animals attack
And by animals, we mean teenagers. In this age of cyberbullying and dangerously high teen suicide rates, what can you do to intervene? Is there any way to protect a kid you know who's going through a rough time? Our answers are as mom and aunties, not healthcare professionals. If you or someone you know is considering suicide, call the National Suicide Prevention Hotline at 1-800-273-8255. Listen on AudioBoom and iTunes.
Episode 67
can't win for losing
You've tried to be nice, kind, a good listener…but you can't seem to give it away. Why do some people have a harder time making friends? The Ladies discuss possible red flags you might be waving, methods of engaging, and how not to overwhelm someone with good intentions. Listen on AudioBoom and iTunes.
Episode 68
judge judy
Your friend is great…except when she's talking about the lesser mortals who surround her. You KNOW she talks about you, too, and you're obsessed with what she might be saying. Is this a real friendship? How can you talk to her about it? Should you even try? Also, Kristan's nephew weighs in on her aging neck. Listen on AudioBoom and iTunes.
Episode 69
beastie and the beast
That sinking feeling when you lose your one and only gal-pal…because she chose a racist ass over you. And yet, you miss her. There were so many good times. How will you fill the gap? The Ladies discuss the hardship of losing a friend, the reality of crappy people and how to take care of yourself. Listen on AudioBoom and iTunes.
Episode 70
rich girl, poor girl
What happens when your friend seems to be rubbing her newfound financial security in your face? Is the bitch showing off, or is she just enjoying life? The Ladies discuss what the difference is, and ten qualities that make a friendship healthy. Listen on AudioBoom and iTunes.
Episode 71
Fun with friends
Are you tired of hanging out and doing the same things? The Ladies have tips to invigorate those friendships, because, just like a romantic situation, friendships can fall into a rut. Not if we can help it! Listen on AudioBoom and iTunes.
Episode 72
friendship in the time of covid
How can you take care of your friendships during this pandemic? How can you feel less alone when you ARE alone? The Ladies discuss ways to stay close and keep a sense of humor during this scary time. Listen on AudioBoom and iTunes.
Episode 73
isolated in isolation
It's bad enough being in lockdown these days, and then you find your friends are socially distancing without you! The Ladies discuss group dynamics, especially high school friend groups. Plus, a horribly relatable Embarrassing Personal Problem. (Apologies for the slight echo…we're podcasting remotely and working on the glitches!) Listen on AudioBoom and iTunes.
Episode 74
When a Friend is Being Abused
The Ladies depart from their usual jocularity to discuss the complexities of friendship with someone in an abusive relationship. Using resources from the National Domestic Abuse website (www.thehotline.org/), they discuss how to keep an open door to a friend in a terrible situation, and how to take care of yourself as you do. If you or a loved one is in an abusive relationship, there is help! Call 800 799 7233 (800 799 SAFE), or call 911 if your safety is in imminent danger. Listen on AudioBoom and iTunes.
Episode 75
The Exaggerator
You like this friend quite a lot! That is, until a few mistruths start showing up in her narrative. Is she trying to keep up with you? Is this a red flag? Should you care as much as you do? The Ladies discuss, and Joss confesses to the depths she'll sink (or perhaps rise) to living in a house full of boxes post-move. Also, why does car driven by Kristan's mom's have fur in the grille? Listen on AudioBoom and iTunes.
Episode 76
Small Town Friendship Drama
Life in a small town means everyone knows your business, and everyone has an opinion. What happens when your friend's decisions have a ripple effect on you, your family or other friends? When does expressing concern become gossip? Plus, Kristan and Joss praise each other for getting dressed and other small victories from the pandemic. Listen on AudioBoom and iTunes.
Episode 77
leaving the gang
It was great…until it wasn't. You all met with a shared interest, life event or profession, but after a while, things changed. How do you leave a group whose members have supported and cheered for you? How can you keep some of those friends while stepping away from others? Joss and Kristan discuss the pros and cons of being direct and, conversely, taking the easy way out. Plus, an embarrassing personal problem that will make Joss's neighbors watch out for Kristan's car. Listen on AudioBoom and iTunes.
Episode 78
leaving the gang
We always talk about establishing good boundaries, but what does that really mean? What are the words that you use? In another Chardonnay edition, the Ladies talk about missteps that can be made when boundaries aren't made clear. Plus, oversharing on periods, as one does.
Listen on AudioBoom and iTunes.
Episode 79
Working with What You Have
What's a woman to do when the friendship pool is shallow at best? When all the alliances have already formed, and, truth be told, there just doesn't seem to be anyone you want to be friends with in the first place? The Ladies discuss how to find that needle in a haystack, look for signs of potential connection and how to create opportunities to find like-minded people. Plus, an epic Embarrassing Personal Problem that leads to a history lesson on the maxi-pad. Listen on AudioBoom and iTunes.
Episode 80
dirty girls
Oh, not in THAT sense, you pervs! No, no...this is a case of a friend who lives in hygienic standards that are far below your normal, and what many would consider squalor or hoarding. Do you say something? Offer to help? Why would someone choose to live like this? The Ladies seek help from their friend and cleaning expert, Yara of the Marble Islands and Countertops. Listen on AudioBoom and iTunes.
Episode 81
ALLEGIANCES
You meet a friend in a group. You get along great…until another group member starts laying claim to who gets to be friends with whom. We've all experienced it! The Ladies offer advice on navigating group dynamics and bring in fan favorite Yara of the Marble Islands and Countertops for color commentary and sage advice. Plus, the lengths Kristan will go to woo her orthopedist in Embarrassing Personal Problems. Listen on AudioBoom and iTunes.
Episode 82
toxicity
When is a friendship actually damaging? Is it possible that YOU are the toxic friend? Are some friends worth putting up with, even if you don't really enjoy them most of the time? Plus, an epic #EmbarrassingPersonalProblem read by Joss with glee. Listen on AudioBoom and iTunes.
Episode 83
Clear and Present Answers
This week, the Ladies take on two letters where the answers are clear: how to support a great friend in a crappy situation; and when it's A-okay to drop a friend who's crossed a line. And such a line it is! Listen on AudioBoom and iTunes.
Episode 84
Friends & Female Problems of a Delicate Nature
How do you confide in friends about the most personal problems? From fertility to deflowering, the Ladies discuss how to take a step closer to friends in times of need, and recognizing when friends are just there to watch a train wreck. Listen on AudioBoom and iTunes.
Episode 85
Enough Is Enough
You love this friend, but she's been flailing at the same problems for years and years, and it's wearing your soul thin. Is there any way to help her? To be friends knowing her life probably won't change, no matter how much she claims to want that? Joss is on FIRE with great advice as Kristan nods in agreement. Listen on AudioBoom and iTunes.
Episode 86
When Work & Friends Don’t Mix
It's wonderful to have a work friend…but once you start becoming close, things can blur. What if the friendship changes, but you still have to work with her? The Ladies discuss that, and Kristan's potential tattoo, no matter what her kids say. Listen on AudioBoom and iTunes.
Episode 87
THe maid of honor
You're getting married and all is butterflies and sunshine…except your maid of honor seems less than thrilled. Plus, your fiance doesn't seem crazy about her, and she's been your bestie for ages. Plus, Kristan overshares about the hideous results of an injury whilst pretending she's crafty. Listen on AudioBoom and iTunes.
Episode 88
my friend
the addict
One of the more difficult issues the Ladies have addressed: how do you help a friend with an addiction? Is there a role for you? Why did you pick her as a friend, and what do you do now? Plus, a listener offers a different perspective on one of our earlier episodes. Listen on AudioBoom and iTunes.
Episode 89
friends with challenges
You have some physical and neurological issues that might make it harder to find your peeps, especially in the time of COVID, and need more than one person to be there for you. The Ladies offer suggestions that apply to us all, really, as well as resources that might be helpful. Plus, another installment of the Happy Friends section of our show! Listen on AudioBoom and iTunes.
Episode 90
Save Yourself Some Time, Women!
Why you need to read Crappy Friends, the Book, and why you should give it to every girl and woman you know! Listen on AudioBoom and iTunes.
friends
CRAPPY
20 years of therapy in one easy-to-read book.
Episode 91
friend in
the making
A young woman has trouble not overwhelming people with her desire to make them like her and wonders how to be a good friend to herself and combat her insecurities. Kristan messes up the intro for the first time ever, and Joss cackles. Plus, a lovely letter about Crappy Friends the Book! Listen on AudioBoom and iTunes.
Episode 92
What Are
You Owed?
You're a good friend, always ready to do a favor or be kind…but you get the feeling you're more of a servant than a trusted and cherished pal. Have you chosen the wrong person, or would an honest conversation solve the problem? The Ladies discuss…and get choked up over a beautiful testament to friendship from one of our listeners. Listen on AudioBoom and iTunes.